In my last post I mentioned feeling censored on my blog and I felt compelled to elaborate. Of course Blogger is not red flagging any of what I could or do put out there and the internet is a cesspool of raunchy ideas. So I guess it would be more appropriate for me to correct myself by clarifying that I censor MYSELF. Why?
1. I like having friends.
If I wrote candidly about my thoughts/reactions/judgments in a given day they obviously would have to come from people with whom I interact. That may be you. And if I publicly maligned your most recent Facebook status, you might not like it. Now what I say "you", know that I probably don't actually mean YOU. But I could. Get my drift? Every YOU out there in Youville would assume I was insulting them when, really, I have a select group of people I like to make fun of. But even that kind of makes me a bad person.
Recently, my BFF came up with the genius idea of video blogging her response to people's Facebook posts while she read through them. We were on vacation together and she had internet access while I didn't so to amuse me one night she started reading what people wrote, some of whom I knew and others I didn't but all were lame. We made a sport of mocking them and, honestly, it was FUN. Again, I know that kind of makes me a bad person but we all have personal interests. Of course we didn't actually record these sessions, which became a nightly routine. If we did, all the fun material would be yanked away because those people would revoke our "friend" access. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot.
2. I have a job.
I actually don't just have A job. I have a nice person's job. I am nice to people that other people are mean to and I like it. But I use up all my niceness at work. And if I started letting it all out, I would not only lose the faith of the people I am nice to, I might lose the faith of the people who assume I am nice enough that I deserve to have my paycheck issued a couple times a month.
Also, who doesn't complain about work? (Other than my mother who, it seems, can't make it through a conversation/grocery store/fast food drive through without telling someone how much she loves her job. I actually think it's great that she is so happy even if I sometimes think she doesn't have to share that detail.) Because I do work that is sensitive in nature and confidential, it would be frowned upon -using the lightest phrase possible here- to complain about work. I have to admit, I have some amazing stories from my work experiences and, sad for you, I am usually legally bound to keep them to myself. This also the reason I sometimes feel like I can't get more personal here-you never know what bad guy is lurking around. Isn't that a horrible thought? But it's a reality in my line of work.
3. I go to church.
Well, at least 50% of the time it's offered I try to go. Judging, swearing, and overall offending is not strongly encouraged. I don't think it would be smiled upon for me to be candid all the time knowing that I have an amazing talent for offending people without even knowing it.
I really love anonymous blogs that poke fun at certain groups or topics. But how do you get people to read your blog if you don't tell them it's your blog?? So here I am, keeping my work stories to myself, not video blogging about the wildly inappropriate pictures you posted on Facebook and with invitations to visit with friends. And here is where I hope to stay.