Happy Valentine's Day!

What would February 14th be without a Valentine's Day post? Last year I focused on the commercialismness of it all and how little I believe in embracing that here. Similarly, this year I vetoed flowers/gifts early in the month and recommended that we make each other's gifts.

Why? We have more exciting and noteworthy things to spend our money on than empty expressions of love that every store pushes on you. That's not to say that those things are not wonderful and welcomed for a lot of people. Personally, though, I would rather get flowers for no reason than because they were front and center at Shaw's. AND in my mind I justify that any holiday or special occasion that we don't go big on siphons money to my main priorities: travel and decorating.

Also, I have been spending more time on Pinterest lately. You can find me here if you are so inclined. One of my friends posted a "pin" to an idea I was really taken with. It's a book of 52 (for the weeks in the year) reasons I love you. THIS seems to be the original blog link. If I am able to pull off its creation between tonight and tomorrow, I will let you know:)

In the meantime, I am super excited to see what Hubby will come up with. It's kind of fun to anticipate what he is even thinking of when I say "make something". My first thought was cupcakes or some other literal translation such as making food. But yesterday he was asking what percentage of the gift he had to make and gave the example of "what if I give you a basket filled with lip gloss but I made the basket?". 1. He def does not know how to make baskets. 2. As much as I love lip gloss, the percentage of unmade items is too high, I decided.  Can't wait to see what he pulls off.....

the best souvenir? traveling with a friend and liking her more at the end

I am really lucky because I have a lot of longtime friends who still live close to me. I am also very lucky that my husband is so flexible about me traveling with friends. One more area of luck? I have a full handful of friends that I have traveled with in the past and come back liking them even more!

There are plenty of articles out there about choosing your traveling companions wisely and I could not agree more. On one of  my recent trips, tension mounted consistently with one member of the travel posse and things literally came to blows. The rest of felt like we had to keep her safe as she drank a lot and wandered off on her own. That's not the kind of environment you ask for time off from work for! I have also had the experience of going away with someone and needing a good amount of space from them thereafter. Let's face it: some friends are great to meet for dinner but you couldn't spend a week with them.

Nothing brings out your friends flaws and annoying habits quicker than a week in confined quarters. Or, frankly, your own flaws and habits that other people have to deal with. Traveling helps you to learn about yourself but you also have to have some degree of insight about yourself before traveling with others. With one of my friends, we had a pre-travel meeting and talked about our fears of being together in a foreign country for two weeks. It helped us open the lines of communication to make a plan for how we would deal with certain situations if they came up. Most of the fears never came to fruition but it was a helpful and rather enlightening conversation, which I would recommend to others who are planning to head off on a journey together.

Despite the bad experiences, I have had  many more positive ones. That was actually the point of this post! One of the girls I went to Spain with has been my friend since nursery school (amazing, right?). We haven't always been priorities in one anothers lives but we have been connected for that long and as life has evolved, we have grown closer and closer. Prior to Spain, we had only done a brief road trip and weekends away together so there was a lot to be determined during two weeks far away from home and unable to escape one another. It ended up being a great experience that only strengthened our friendship. We already have tickets to Costa Rica for November together! And we email almost daily (and while that isn't much different than before we traveled together, it's a huge testament to our appreciation for one another afterwards!).

So don't worry if you will run out of things to talk about; you won't. While all of the bad traits are amplified, so are all of the great traits. I think traveling with your friends is one of the healthiest, most fun things you can do for yourself and all of your relationships. Bon Voyage!

Musings of a Thirty Something

This weekend I celebrated my 31st birthday. Last year, hitting the milestone of 30 felt like a big deal and cause for a party, as I ushered in a new decade and a new number with which to start my age. 31 feels like the 1991 of ages. 1990 is still too much like the 80's to be distinct but '91 starts to really be "the 90's". Using this logic, 31 means I'm really in "my 30's" so I spent this weekend quietly reflecting on what that means, both to me and in the broader society. 

Some researchers talk about the concept of a "thrisis", a wordsmash for a thirty-something crisis. (By the way, what is it about the world these days that everything has to be combined....brangelina? speidi? Are we really in such a hurry??) The premise is that people have bought into an idea of happiness that includes getting married, getting a house, getting a good job, etc. but once they get those things, they finally step back and wonder if that's what they wanted all along. Unlike the mid-life crisis we grew up seeing in movies and expecting in our 40's, thirty-somethings realize there's still time to make changes and get life on track. The trouble then becomes defining what happiness means to you, as an individual. 

On the flip side, most people I talk to express that their thirties were the most fun. They often talk about being confused and figuring things out in their twenties and getting to sit back and enjoy their thirties. Many people relate to feeling more confident, less worried about what others think, as they leave their twenties behind. It seems like we have set ourselves up to be molded up to this point and get to really define ourselves now, a true coming-of-age experience. I definitely find myself keeping a smaller social circle and investing more in myself and the people and activities that really bring me joy, rather than trying to keep in touch with everyone. But maybe that's just because Facebook keeps everyone in touch all the time! (not in an unwelcome way, in my opinion)

So I look forward to 31 beginning a new chapter. I can be proud of the things I have accomplished, going down the checklist: marriage, home, education, career. People can continue to bug me about the next item on their checklist: baby. And maybe that will be next, who knows. But I can also revel in the fact that these things have brought me to a point where I can create opportunities for myself. In many ways, at 31 I have more options open to me than I did at 21. Real, viable options that can come to fruition in a year instead of a decade. I have enough stability to pursue my love of traveling and enough youth left to make those adventures really exciting. For an example from real life last week, in one day I met with the sheriff about prison programming and went to a Poison concert in a mini skirt at night. Here's to the 30's being the most fulfilling decade yet!

   

Living with a Basketball Coach

sometimes you come home to scenes like this

so you have to comfort yourself by eating this for dinner

Happy Commercial Love Day!

What kind of girl would I be if I didn't write about Valentine's Day? Although I haven't had many of those single Valentine's Days where the unpaired of the world are supposed to lament, I can totally understand that sentiment. Why do we have a day dedicated to coupledom? For those who are happy, we should celebrate our love every day! For those who are not, paired or not paired, I don't think we need a day to commemorate that. And don't get me started on boxed chocolates!! So not a fan.
I think, nationally, we should take Valentine's Day back as a kid's holiday. It was so fun to write and receive cards in a paper bag I decorated at school. And who doesn't need a reason to make and eat pink frosted cookies?
But since I'm supposed to celebrate it as an adult, let me report what I did to celebrate. Monday night is reserved for BodyPump, my favorite class at the gym so activities tonight were off limits. We were kind of planning to do something for Valentine's Day on Saturday since it was the only night we both had free. Then Hubby's sister announced she was going to be in a play and we planned to go. At the last minute, Hubby decided he couldn't handle the play so we went out to dinner instead. We tried a new place in town and it was pretty much an epic fail. I even gave the leftovers to my Dad because he will eat anything. So, the best thing to come from my holiday so far? Hubby downloaded a bunch of songs that Adam Duritz of Counting Crows had recorded this week for fans for Valentine's Day. I truly couldn't ask for a better treat!!!