The Worst

I realized that I could write a whole blog-not just a post- about the anecdotes that occur commuting to work. Not coincidentally, it's also the place I do some of my best thinking and lots of post ideas bud behind the wheel. That could have something to do with the often snarky tone I put forth here.

Lots of bloggers do weekly happy posts, about the highlights of that week or the things for which they are grateful. I feel like my least kind self when I am in my car, which is where I was yesterday when I started making a mental list of the things that are just the worst this week.

• When a cop car pulls behind you and all of a sudden you feel like you are 16 and just got your permit again.
• The new Bruno Mars song. (I think this is actually what launched a line of negative thinking)
• When you fill up with gas and then find it for a cheaper price a mile down the road.
• When you cry at non-celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.
• When you leave a Taylor Swift song on with the specific purpose of singing along. And you know the words well enough to do a flawless karaoke performance.
• Rich ladies in SUVs. I know they are rich because of the town I am in and their patented fleece/scarf combo I can see as they pull behind me and honk when I am the one who is 3/4 of the way done backing out of my parking spot.
• When you go someplace you used to love and realize you have outgrown it. Sorry, Dave Matthews concerts.
• When you nobly bring a change of clothes for the gym only to realize you forgot an essential item like a sports bra.

So what has been the worst for YOU this week?

Karma is Real

I don't believe in Deja Vu or any of that other funny business. And, generally, I believe the concept of karma to be true but have not believed in it's actuality. Until this morning's commute.
Each morning I am in my car for a minimum of 45 minutes. That's a lot of time to find new songs I like, think about the chores I need to find someone to do and get mad at other drivers. This morning I had one really nice thought. Like so nice I had to touch my heart and get misty. But then I had a lot of not so nice thoughts. And at least one that was so naughty I had to talk it out of my head.

Shortly after the really not so nice thought I got caught behind a student driver. How's that for karma? And it was seriously like the student drivers lack of skill was commensurate with the degree of my bad thought. This was the worst student driver I have ever been within a 4 mile radius of. At one point we rounded a bend that had one of those speed marker things and it clocked the student driver (and, thus, me stuck behind him/her) at 11 mph. I'm pretty sure I could push my car faster than that. My leg was cramping from hovering over the break because cars do not want to go 11 mph.

After being stuck behind the student driver from Hell for the longest 3 miles of my life, I was lucky enough to be able to take a right hand turn and escape. I really wanted to look into the car and identify what kind of person could drive that bad but I knew I couldn't look at them without saying mean things so I just said the mean things while I looked straight ahead instead. One of my favorite things to do whenever I am stuck behind an especially frustrating driver and I have the chance to pass them on my way to turn or something is to slow down and glare in at them to sufficiently communicate my wrath for them, by the way.

So I take the turn and start on my alternate route when I come across some fat town workers repainting the cross walks. I am all for that since I once got pulled over for failing to stop for a little girl in a cross walk and my defense, in all honesty, was that I didn't see that there was even a cross walk there because it was so faint. And I don't stop for jaywalkers. That's like encouraging delinquency. The fat painters were taking up a whole lane of traffic and forced me to drive like I was in London for a minute, which unnerved me when my body had just started to regulated itself in the aftermath of the anger that surged through it as a result of the student driver. Just another couple blocks after that obstacle I found some road construction blocking my path. Really??Being the resourceful girl that I am, I took another turn that would help me get around the construction without being spit out onto the main road where people like to open their car doors just to dare you to hit them. Feeling pretty proud of myself and just around the corner from work, I had to stop at a stop sign in order to take a left. Now no one likes to take left turns, right? Looking in two directions is exhausting. So I was understanding when the car in front of me took a minute to make the turn. But then another minute went by and I was starting to feel less understanding so I decided to assess the situation. What would karma do if you successfully got away from the worst student driver ever? Karma would put a funeral procession in your path next. Yup. All those purple flags on the car with sad people mourning a loss inside and I can usually muster up some empathy, if not jealousy for the fact that they get a day off when I am on my way to work. But this morning all I could think was that they were in my way and it was some cosmic retribution.

So the moral of the story is that when you are cranky you shouldn't drive. And if you don't drive then you can't go to work. And if all the cranky people in the world didn't go to work, think of how nice all the people who waited on you at restaurants and stores all day would be!!

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels....except a Blizzard

It amuses me that I can go three weeks feeling so overwhelmed that I consider never writing a blog post again and then one day I wake up and think of all the things I want to blog about. Therefore, I am now officially considering blogging a sign of health. If I feel good enough to want to blog, my stress level must be manageable.

Last week my stress level was not manageable. I was in one of those places where you are either very hostile or crying. One of the themes this blog revolves around is self-care. It's a very social workery term but it's got a great meaning that everyone should adopt. Self care is what it sounds like: taking care of yourself. But it's really more about the awareness of the ways you are already doing it or making a conscious effort to do more. Or, really, acknowledging that you need to take care of yourself because things are hard and taking care of yourself helps.

For example, yesterday I had a crappy afternoon of working with a struggling mom and facing stupid restrictions from big systems that are supposed to help such as the welfare/homelessness system. As I was driving away from a maddening meeting, I turned on the radio to help distract me. The first verbal commentary from the dj was about how it's  hard to believe Rihanna playing a "tough girl" in the movie Battleship after "you know who did you know what". If I began to tell you how infuriating I found this, it would be a very long, very unfunny post about social injustice so I will spare you but I really hope anyone reading this recognizes how un-okay that is! Someone isn't weak because they were victimized.

Needless to say, I needed to do some self-care STAT. Lucky for me, I just happen to drive by a Dairy Queen on my way between jobs. A good friend often jokes about "eating her feelings" and that's so what I did. And you know those people who say "nothing tastes as good as thin feels"? They lied. You know how you look back at pictures and think "wow, I looked good" but you remember that, at the time, you didn't think you looked good? When you are thin, you often don't feel thin enough. That doesn't feel good! But a Blizzard....it really did feel good. By the last spoonful I was even dreaming up new Ryan Gosling Tumblrs!! That's a drastic turn around and you can't even deny it.  

6 Reasons Why Today is Not My Day

Today is not my day. Let me give you a list of evidence to prove my point:
1. While driving through downtown (which is really never wise) a man, who I am just assuming has a substance abuse problem, 100% walked in front of my car. While I was moving. I had a green light and we were nowhere near a crosswalk. Unlike other bossy pedestrians, this man truly did not even turn his head a little to see if cars were coming or stopping or any other verbing. He just looked straight ahead and plunged into traffic like a man on a mission.
2. I guess I should backtrack and say that the day started out bad based on the fact that I had to wake up far too early for a dr's appt. It wouldn't be as bad if I wasn't still suffering from the impact of daylight savings stealing an hour of my beloved sleep. So early feels even worse this week. Accordingly, I had morning meetings every day.
3. I had an 8:15 appt with an ear, nose and throat specialist. I got there a little before 8:10 and avoided a creepy guy on the downstairs level of the medical building only to find the office dark and the door locked. So I found a chair and played some Words With Friends because I am adaptable. Around 8:23, I had no more opponents to face so I looked up the number for the doctor's office to see if there was an outgoing message about a death in the family causing all appts to be canceled or something else valid like that. I got an answering service who told me they don't answer the phones until 9. Hmmmm. Then why schedule an appt 45 minutes prior to that? In the midst of that conversation, an employee arrived at work and unlocked the door. I trailed her and poked my head in the office but she must have been turning on the lights in the whole suite so I just stood there doing a virtual hokey pokey with my body in the hall and my melon in the office, not wanting to scare her and having a mental battle with myself as I tried to figure out how to not take my aggression out on this woman but also not apologize for something that they should be apologizing for. She finally appeared and had me sit down while she called the cell phone of the girl who was supposed run some test on me. No answer. Then I heard her talking to a person I later found out was an office manager and overheard "she shouldn't make appointments in the morning if she can't get to them". When they finally got the girl on the phone, I was told she would arrive in another half hour. Really? I didn't make a 9am appt. I would have liked to have slept that additional 45 minutes, too. But I have my own job that they like me to show up for so I left.
4. I'm wearing my skinny jeans but feeling anything but.
5. And then I look at Pinterest for some workout motivation and all I find are dessert recipes that made me start wanting lunch at like 11:11.
6. My office scissors are missing and I really want to trim a split end.

So the moral of the story is that waking up early is bad and I am cranky.