Thursday, October 11, 2012

Theme Thursday: My Dream Job

This week for Theme Thursday I had to think about what my dream job would be. Oddly enough, this isn't a topic I have given much thought to as I have been at my real life job for 7 years now. It's good work and though it's exhausting, I enjoy it. There's also a big part of me who wants to bounce this back to the stay at home moms (and a dad) who are blogging about this topic alongside me and tell them that their jobs are awesome because they don't have to wear bras if they don't want to and they don't have to pencil in trips to Target. Also, I assume they love their kids so that helps.

So when I started brainstorming my dream job, I really entered a land of fantasy in which prior training and experience are not at all considerations. You are judged solely on enthusiasm in the job interview, in which case I would ace my way into all of them.

First pick: Reality TV show casting director.
No humility here. I would be AMAZING at this. Having watched ever y episode of Flavor of Love, I love New York, Rock of Love, I love Money (need I go on....) and email critiqued them all afterwards with my bestie, I know who makes good tv. My psych experience will only help to inform the best combinations of people to create volatile and entertaining interactions. Not a dating competition show? No problem. I am also loyal to Survivor and catch The Amazing Race from time to time. I know how to tone it down if we are on a non-cable network, don't worry. And if the casting is already complete when I show up for my interview, I could always step in as an editor. I could help to omit just the right portion of the conversations to make the bad guy look worse and the good guy look better. And I would never miss a shot that would be totally humiliating to the average person, upping the shows odds of being featured on Tosh.O.
I would be VERY proud of this work.

Second Pick: If the world of reality tv crashes like the written word jobs of the characters in Gone Girl that lead them to their eventual demise (if you haven't read this book yet, run out and get it. You can refresh this page upon your return and keep reading), my backup plan will already be in place. Admittedly, it will have to be put on hold until my treatment for serious depression in response to said crash is completed. Assuming travel information shows don't count as reality tv, I want to replace Samantha Brown. She has the life! She gets to visit fun places, continent at a time, picking through the major cities. She sums each city up in a half hour segment including descriptions of the swank hotel she stayed at, the delicious food she ate, and the unique cultural experience she had. I can do that! In fact, I could one up Samantha. She is a little weak sauce for my taste most trips so I would throw in some scandalous interaction with a local like the time I went on a drug deal in Central America inadvertently or the time I decided it would be a good idea to have a Rastafarian pen pal or the time I crashed a prom and another time, a stag party. Does Samantha do that? Nope, that's the flavor I bring. If, somehow, travel shows are deemed part of the reality tv crash, I will be a travel blogger. I will write some brilliant post and hit it big instantly, with companies just throwing money and offers at me to promote them. The bottom line is that I am going to be traveling and making money doing it. 
(YouTube was on strike from me or I would have a nice, mundane clip of Samantha in her hotel room in Rome right here)

If all else fails: I am applying at Barnes and Noble and Bed, Bath and Beyond. On my hardest days, I have an image of myself folding towels in the corner of a linens department. And I like to read a lot and give my opinions so I could be put to use in the young adult section of the bookstore, reviewing trilogies and series with Armageddon scenarios and pictures of girls in ruffly dresses to the young minds of America.

So I guess the moral of the story is that I should never have invested in graduate school since all of my favorite things include watching tv, going where I want, reading and relaxing, and hopefully only putting on a bra or mascara when I feel like it. 

If you want to read what some other bloggers have to say about their dream jobs check out the following:
Something Clever 2.0
Cloudy With a Chance of Wine
I like beer and babies.
A calibama state of mind
Shit I Don't Tell Most People
Mom With Her Running Shoes On
The Insomniac's Dream


  1. That's so sweet that you think retail would be relaxing.

  2. I think food service retail is relaxing. When the norm is people on the brink of death, complaints about "normal" things are just amusing.

  3. lol, after two rounds of producing milk I *definitely* have to wear a bra - even when I don't want to.

    and trips to Target still need penciling in, if I want to actually get everything on my list instead of spending 45 minutes placating the kids and 15 minutes buying crap that is not on the list and then planning when I can go back sans kids and finish the shopping list. I do a significant amount of my shopping on - even for toilet paper.

    Oh, speaking of which, just added Gone Girl to my amazon cart. thanks for the recommendation!

    If you ever do end up on a reality show, let me know - I'll DVR it!

  4. Lori, I'm really sorry to hear you have to wear a bra!! That's my number one thing I like about spending the day at home. And everyone buys more than they plan on at Target. It's a magical land. I would like to start a Target Anonymous group but I really don't want to quit it. No need to clear your DVR-I think I am past my reality prime, sadly.

  5. I wish I had a blog so I could be included and write a novel about this. My dream job would be to be a nature travel guide. There's probably a better job title for this, but I'd love to travel the world with bird/animal enthusiasts and see everything there is to see. Almost like a combo of Jeff Corwin (or the late, great Steve Irwin) and Samantha Brown. I figure that while I'm looking for Horbills in Thailand, I can also swing by the beaches of Phuket and see all the sights in Bangkok. I would also try to implement some do-gooding/conservation efforts into this. Of course, my pets would somehow have to be implemented into this scenario so they could come along too. That's the one thing that sucks about travel. Oh, and the best thing about the jungle is that bras are probably optional.

  6. I think you'd make a great reality TV casting director! I can totally see you doing that!
    I've thought about working at B&N before. Someday I might do it for fun! I love that store.
    I love being a stay-at-home mom, but I miss working at a paying job sometimes too. I live in a college town and I like the college atmosphere, so someday I think I might like to get a job at the university. Or maybe go back into publishing. And Peter and I are thinking about going into a business venture and opening a bounce house place here for kids. It's fun to plan and think about.

  7. I would totally love to have Julie Chen's job!!!!

    Sadly, I have to wear a bra all day, everyday too...because if I didn't, you wouldn't know I even had boobs! Ha!

  8. Oh, cast me! I've always wanted to be in a reality TV show.

  9. Retail is relaxing? No offense, you have delusions on that one. By the way, I cannot commit to being a stay at home Dad, I would have to explain to the judge why my Minions were buried in the backyard, I leave to to the Trophy.

  10. You'd kick ass at reality show casting I bet! Although, you'd probably run screaming from the job on your way to BB&B to fill out an app if you actually saw the shit they have to do...and witness. A psychology degree HAS to be a That said, keep me in mind if you ever DO end up out here casting. I've done game shows, zombie book trailers, even hosted a little cooking show on YouTube :-)

  11. You are so funny. I would watch all your shows especially travel.